Modern momarchist’s manifesto (or the post formally known as K.I.S.S.)

Update!! Includes vulgar language and concepts that are not for the faint of heart.  Read at your own risk!


This is my response to the “10 rules for dating my daughter” t-shirt wearing dads.  You may have seen this before:

Or this.

First question, where are all the shirts that say, “Moms against sons dating.”  Or, “You hurt my son while he’s dating your daughter; I cut you. Signed, his mom.” ?

Wait a sec!  There is shit out there for mothers!!

This mom should expect her son to stay single and live in her basement the rest of his life. Nice work mom!

Also number 10.  “So… if I have sex with your son? Does that mean we get to be lesbian lovers?  YAY!”

For the mom who can’t cut the cord.

I swear I saw one that said, “If you text my son a picture of your boobs I will text you back a picture of his father’s hairy balls.”

Wouldn’t that get you into trouble if she was a minor?  Would you rather spend you valuable time in court or reading all your son’s (or daughter’s) texts?


Second question, does anyone else sense a hint of old- fashioned, paternalistic,  “Must protect my daughter’s hymen at all costs”?

Third question, raise your hand if you think ONLY teenage boys are capable of being horn-dogs, hurting someone else’s feelings, or getting violent?  Anyone?

Newsflash dads!  Your daughter is probably just as horny as the guy she is going out with.   Don’t believe me, ask her mother how horny SHE was as a teenager.   Do you think your princess is incapable of having sexual urges, or GASP, having sexual conquests of her own?

Tons of mothers of sons obviously already know this because they are making shirts of their own warning all the slutty girls that, “My boy is off limits you money grabbing, jobless, ho!”

I know these shirts are suppose to be funny but judging from the popularity and all the “likes” they receive people take them pretty seriously.  How is any of this teaching our kids how to manage themselves in the real world?


One more thought, in this modern world who are you to assume that your daughter (or son) is even straight?

I can just see the “Rules for being my son’s gay lover.”

1. Drag queens allowed but not if you dress better than me!

How would one even write up a list of “Rules for being my daughter’s lesbian lover”?

I’m not just writing this because I have a son. I also have a daughter.  I have one rule and one rule only.  One rule to bind all other rules.

Don’t be an asshole!


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